Not unlike money, sex is a thing Nigerians LOVE to have but would rather choke on their tongues than talk about out loud. How do I know this? Here’s proof:
Anyway, keeping with the theme of humping like rabbits in the sheets and monk-ing it up in the streets, I decided to put together this list of 10 different innocent-sounding phrases that one can use to initiate sex without actually saying “I want to have sex with you.“
Because if there’s one thing I’m a stickler for, it’s tradition. And I plan to do all I can to uphold our great nation’s age-old tradition of sexual repression. Starting with this list:
- “You wan shoki?”
Lil Kesh doesn’t get enough credit for this multi-purpose word.
2. “I fit chop your pomo?”
You just made the decision to never eat pomo again and I’m not even sorry that I caused that.
3. “Can I mow your lawn?”
Sounds a little fetish-y, I know. But still effective.
4. “Make I knack you akpako.”
Where is Terry G anyway?
5.“I would like to eat your genitals.”
Better said in a sultry whisper a.k.a bedroom voice.
6. “I want to lick your hairy snail.”
I have also put you off of snails forever and once again, I’m not sorry.
7. “I want to wreck you.”
It’s now up to you to not disappoint.
8. “I want to make your black snake moan.”
You can’t say this if you’re white.
9. “Can I rake your leaves?”
This line is the perfect way to hint at your partner that you, more than anything, want to role-play as a sexy gardener.