Let’s not lie. Women give multiple chances. Screw up once? Apologise properly, and they’ll welcome you back with open arms. But everyone has a limit. 

When they finally decide they’re done, they’ll do these eight things, and you’ll just know. 

Speak to you in “corporate”

“Can I please get the keys? Thank you”. Don’t worry. What happened to the extra u’s is about to happen to you.

Air you

If you think she’s going to sit you down and explain how you’ve wronged her, then think again. Doesn’t matter if it’s in person or over a device, you’ll try to talk to her, and she’ll ghost you.

Cut and dye their hair

If you wrong her today, and the next time you see her, she has a pink buzz cut, just forget about it. Move on with your life because the woman you used to know no longer exists.

Call you by your full government name 

Dead the sweet names. She’ll take you back to the day your mother gave birth to you and call you every name on your birth certificate.

Block and delete 

If you wake up in the morning and find that the only way you can communicate with her is via email. Good luck to you.

Stop asking you to iron her clothes

What are wrinkled clothes that she cannot wear outside? She’s done with you now, so go and find another person to play drycleaner with. Also, return her clothes and iron.

Stop sending you funny videos

She’s done with you, and you want to laugh? Please, what’s funny?

Collect her belongings

Think of women leaving their things at yours as them leaving crumbs that’ll lead them back to you. If she takes her belongings from you and your space, then pack it up because even a thousand men cannot bring her back.

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