How To Be A Prostitute In Nigeria

August 11, 2020

Are you tired of your basic 9-5 and thinking of a career change? Well, here is how to be a prostitute in Nigeria

1) Wear an Anklet

This singular piece of jewelry has basically cemented your place as a certified prostitute

2) Drive a car

Obviously the only reason you are driving a car is because you are a prostitute. Who cares if your actual job is being a driver. Woman driving car = prostitute. It is quick math.

3) Wear “revealing” clothes

What determines if a cloth is revealing? We do not know, but once anyone thinks you are showing too much skin, “ASHEWO!” So what if it is just your ankle that is visible? It is too much.

4) Go out alone

Only prostitutes hangout alone. That is a fact that has been proven by our favourite Nollywood movies. The only reason you are out is to prey on young defenseless men. Shame on you.

5) Use contraceptives

“Na only ashewo wey no wan born pikin”

6) Tattoos

Any responsible member of society will not tarnish their image by having such. You are using it to advertise market and state your availability

7) Use expensive things

Honestly, how dare you be able to afford things for yourself? Definitely man that is buying it for you. Continue, we are watching

8) Be a woman

Breathe wrong, and someone is shoving that word down your throat. Who gave you the audacity to live your life the way you want to? Ashewo!

Itohan Esekheigbe

Join The Conversation

Bring a friend.

You'll like this

Alopecia loss of hair
April 1, 2021

As told to Mariam Last week, I asked Nigerian women to share their biggest insecurities with me for an article. Sandra* was one of the women that reached out to me. After she responded, I asked more questions and this is what she told me:  I was born with dreadlocks. When I was two years […]

Watch

Now on Zikoko

Recommended Quizzes

What are you like in a relationship?
February 7, 2020

Your taste in music can say a lot about you, and this time, it’s going to reveal what you are like in a relationship. So, pick a few of your favourite Nigerian love songs, and we’ll let you know if you’re typically a distant, passionate or unbothered partner. Here you go:

November 30, 2019

With No Nut November FINALLY coming to an end, we’ve decided to mark the torturous month with some more horny content. After quizzes that guessed how many people you’ve slept with, how good you are in bed and who you’ll sleep with next, this one will guess when next you’ll get lucky. Take it to […]

November 20, 2019

Last month, we thoughtfully made a quiz telling you guys exactly when you’ll marry, but some of you claimed that your spouse was nowhere to be found. Well, now we’ve created one that’ll tell you exactly who you’ll be dragging down that aisle. Take and start planning that wedding: 11 Quizzes For Nigerians Who Are […]

October 30, 2019

2010 was a game-changing one for Nollywood, with our movies making serious cash and getting international acclaim. So, which of these hits released between 2010 and 2019 — from the pace-setting The Wedding Party to the divisive Trip To Jamaica — best suits your personality? Well, that’s what this quiz is here to answer:

November 19, 2019

Regardless of what society has tried to tell us, enjoying sex is not something to be ashamed of. So, in a bid to celebrate our generation’s sexual agency, we’ve created a quiz that will accurately (again, keep your complaints to yourself) infer how many people you’ve spelt with. Try it out: 11 Quizzes For The […]

More from Her

woman lying down on bed
September 15, 2021

“He said a lot of things. He cried too. This continued till 5 am. Eventually, I gave in because I wanted to sleep. He is currently a gospel musician in Kaduna.”

11 Nigerian Women Talk About Being Coerced

Read here:

female footballer holding net
September 14, 2021

“In 2019, my mum sent me to Owerri to be a live-in nanny for one woman so I could make money for the family.”

In this article, Stella talks about wanting to be a footballer as a child but not having the resources or the support needed to do so.

Read here:

Watch

Trending Videos

Zikoko Originals

December 14, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
November 2, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
October 26, 2020
A collection of videos documenting some of the events of the EndSARS protests.
June 22, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
June 22, 2020
Hacked is an interesting new series by Zikoko made up of fictional but hilarious chat conversations.
June 4, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
June 2, 2020
Quickie is a video series where everyone featured gets only one minute to rant, review or do absolutely anything.
May 14, 2020
Isolation Diary is a Zikoko series that showcases what isolation is like for one young Nigerian working from home due to the Coronavirus pandemic.
March 12, 2020
Life is already hard. Deciding where to eat and get the best lifestyle experiences, isn't something you should stress about. Let VRSUS do that for you.

Z! Stacks

Here's a rabbit hole of stories to lose yourself in:

Zikoko amplifies African youth culture by curating and creating smart and joyful content for young Africans and the world.
X