We spoke to some Nigerian women about how dating is in Nigeria, and how much it differs from dating in other parts of the world.
Canada is almost always cold. The cold was like the filter that made the relationship sweet. We can cuddle in winter, and we will not be sweating while having sex. Nigeria is hot, hot for no reason. How will you be cuddling when there is no light, in dry season, and generator has knocked?
The thing with dating Nigerian men is that they are very intentional when they wine and dine you. They will court you, take you out and use enjoyment to dazzle you. American boys will use “you up”, and “come over” to choke you. No romance at all. Also, because of the different cultural backgrounds, they do not really understand certain things. I remember a time a white guy was mad at me for not facetiming him because I was busy braiding my hair. He thought braiding hair did not take so long. Imagine thinking braiding natural hair does not take long?
Dating as a lesbian is just a load of stress. In Nigeria, I could not hold my girlfriend’s hand in public for too long because I was scared people could tell we were together. The fear of just being lynched at any point in time made us not get the best of the experience. I love PDA a lot, and not being able to do that was very painful. Sure, Canada is not free from its occasional homophobia, but to a degree, it is way safer here. At least dating as a lesbian in Canada, your rights are somewhat protected by law.
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I used to think long distance was hard, but then I realised the problem was Nigeria. Long distance in Nigeria is just gutter behaviour. Either your boss is refusing to give you the day off, or the airline is cancelling your flight, or you need to take a bus and fuel finishes on the road. Nigeria makes romance hard. In Denmark, I found it easier to show up at babe’s place with flowers and all unannounced. Nigeria will try to ruin everything for you, even your love life.
The major difference I felt was the way people in the UK minded their business when another person was engaging in PDA. We could do as much PDA as we wanted and nobody was bothering me or saying “what will your parents say”. It was so refreshing the way people minded their business. Nigerians in Nigeria do not mind their business.
Nigerian men want to commit almost immediately, whereas American men are basically anti commitment. The Nigerian men will bring up things like marriage, taking vacations together and a bunch of other stuff a few days into the relationship, while Americans may not bring up things like this until really far into the relationship.
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