Breakups are hard. They are even harder when they don’t end on your terms and leave you teeming with dozens on unanswered questions. Weeks, months and years have passed since these 12 women went through their most painful breakups. Even though they’ve mostly moved on they still have unanswered questions that haunt them. And I tried to give them some answers.
How was I the problem?
He didn’t go the usual ‘it’s not you, it’s me route’. He said it was me, that I was the reason he was ending thing. But he never said what it was about me that led to the breakup. Just gave me a vague ‘there’s just something about you, I can’t place my finger on it, but I can’t deal anymore. I’m in another very happy relationship now, but sometimes I think ‘what about me was the problem?’Seyi, 25
This one is easy. He was the problem.
What does overexposed mean?
We dated for a little over a year. He just woke up one morning and said that I was overexposed. He mentioned a couple of other things. Like how I wasn’t traditional enough and didn’t respect the age difference between us (3 years). My only regret is the whole year I wasted with him, but I still wonder what the hell overexposed really means.Nneka, 27
It means he was looking for the kind of girlfriend that will call him sir and help him wear his socks in the morning.
You had wife abi?
He just ghosted. We had been dating for a couple of weeks. Next thing I know he had blocked my number. It was like film. I wasn’t even that emotionally invested but it pained me ehn. It has been like a year and I still haven’t heard from him. If I see him now I’ll ask ‘Oga you had wife abi?’Seun, 24
He probably did.
Have you met your goals now?
He said he wanted to focus on himself and I was distracting him from achieving his true potential. I’ve gotten promoted twice since we broke up and I know he’s still at the same position at the same job. I just want to ask if he’s achieving the goals he wanted to achieve.Halima, 28
Just ‘why’. We were good, or at least I thought we were good. So I was completely blindsided when he said he was unhappy. Maybe I was too self-absorbed to notice that he was unhappy but I don’t think so. It still hurts. A lot.Onyinyechi, 27
It gets better. It really does.
Why don’t you have sense?
‘Why don’t you have sense?’ And that’s for everyone I’ve ever dated. It’s like I’m cursed or something because I’ve only ever dated people who don’t have sense. I caught the last one cheating and it didn’t even surprise me because he had being moving mad from the beginning of the relationship.Adedoyin, 25
We all wish we knew the answer to this one sis.
How do you fall out of love?
‘How do you fall out of love?’ He said he just didn’t love me anymore. Which was a little inconvenient because well I still loved him. I know people fall out of love, I’m not ten years old. But how?Sonia,23
What exactly did you tell her
‘What exactly did you tell her?’ The boyfriend left me for my best friend. Cliche I know. But I had dated him for like two months, and I was best friends with her for seven years. I’m not even concerned with what his reasons were. I just want to know what exactly he could have told her to make her free a seven-year friendship.Susan, 25
Lies, lies and more lies