These are tough times.

Things are just hard, left and right.

Ask some people what will make them feel better, and they’ll be like

“Just give me money. Millions please.”  We asked them to suggest ways to get these millions before August, and what did they say?

The first person suggested you should marry a Dangote or Indimi child.

Whether they’ll marry you is another problem though.

Another person suggested money rituals.

But don’t call us if your first child turns out to be a goat.

You could also get yourself a Glucose Guardian a.k.a. Sugar Daddy and Sugar Mummy

But are you ready to give them some sugar?

We hear if you work really hard you can get yourself an oil bloc.

But we don’t know if that can happen this August, maybe the August of your next life.

At this point, we are sure you can tell that these millions will have to fall from heaven before you can get them.

But we have good news. There is actually a way you can get these millions by August.

Go to your nearest bar. Ask for STAR Lager Beer Limited Edition Bottle.

Make sure it’s the Limited Edition Bottle. Nobody must stand in the way of your millions.

Open the bottle and hold on to the crown cork. Don’t let anybody disappear with your crown cork.

via GIPHY

Don’t let your enemies succeed.

You’ll see a code on the crown cork. Now dial *566*20# and enter the code you see. Follow the prompts until you redeem your prize.

Who knows, you might be one of the people to win the ultimate 10 million naira prize. Just like that, overnight millionaire.

If you want to win more, just declare for everybody at the bar, Star Lager, Limited Edition.

Just don’t forget to collect your crown corks from them, and redeem more prizes.

There’s over 400 million up for grabs, now ask yourself, how much of that money has been destined for you?

Don’t dull.

Don’t forget that on the way to your millions you could also win thousands of naira and free airtime.

Just don’t carry last, over 2,000 people have won prizes.

11 of them are already millionaires and over 20 have won ten thousand naira each.

Celestine Nnama is now a millionaire and he doesn’t have two heads.

Patricia Nwoye also didn’t carry last. And these are just 2 of the 11 people who have already won a million naira each.

Do you now want to carry last? CLAIM YOUR MILLIONS, NOW.

Are you heading to the bar yet?

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Zikoko amplifies African youth culture by curating and creating smart and joyful content for young Africans and the world.