Nigerian parents have a very funny relationship with sex. Even though they’ll rather eat a stone than talk about sex, we’ve figured out when Nigerian parents would like you to start having sex.

When you are married and living in your matrimonial home.

Team virgin till marriage. Nothing else is acceptable.

When you are ready to go and meet your maker

Because that’s where they’ll send you if they catch you fornicating.

After you’ve started having children.

What you did to have the children in the first place is none of their business.

When your pastor says it’s the right time.

And we all know when our pastors say it’s ok to start having sex.

If you are a woman, once you hit the age of 30.

Because as long as their God is alive you should be in your matrimonial home by then.

When you’ve refused to marry and give them grandchildren.

Just go out into the world and get us a grandchild we don’t want to know how you did it.

There’s never an appropiate time, close your legs and face your front.

Virgin for life.


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