We Imagined What Election Eve Must Feel Like For The Candidates.

February 22, 2019

Buhari

He’s probably plotting his fourth televised speech of the day, to break the record for “most unnecessary consecutive televised addresses”.

His speechwriter and human teleprompter are whimpering in a corner, signaling Osinbajo to make it stop.

Atiku

You can find him currently in a serious meeting with his campaign advisors, debating the pros, cons and logistics of dropping a photo shoot in front of JFK Airport and returning to Nigeria in time to vote.

“If I lose this thing because people don’t think I can enter America, it’s on you oh” he fumes.

Dino

Melaye, who is contesting for the Kogi West Senatorial position, is home, scrolling through his Instagram, while reclined in the front seat of his rotating Cadillac, Fuji garbage blaring from the speakers.

Something comes to mind and he beckons his assistant to the car.

“Am I healthy in the media right now, or should I be walking around with a brace?”

She assures him of his health, but reminds him to brace up, a week before his court date.

He smiles, produces his handy tripod and camera from underneath the car seat, and begins the Harlem Shake. His next Instagram post is about to be explosive.

Oby

Mrs Ezekwesili just blocked the last member of the ACPN hounding her for campaign spending details.

She added all of them to a groupchat, dropped the link to her website, where all campaign spending details are present and simply exited the group.

She’s currently waiting to see what presidential candidates will RSVP to her coalition party, later tonight.

Eunice

Mrs Atuejide just parked in front of Atiku’s campaign headquarters, fruit basket in hand.

Since she has pulled out of the race, best believe she’s going to cheer her preferred candidate to victory come February 23rd.

Yele

Sowore is currently shooing off red-eyed party supporters, hanging around his residence, reminding him of his promise to legalise weed.

He’s planning his final town hall meeting, which he has been most consistent with since the start of the campaigns.

Durotoye

Mr Durotoye has three laptop screens open before him, and is feverishly refreshing his social media accounts.

If he crosses a collective 1 million mark, he’ll take it as a good sign of victory, if not…

Moghalu

Moghalu has shouted ‘ONE TRILLION NAIRA INVESTMENT FUND’ at every single mirror he can find, this election eve.

He’s incredibly pumped for the elections and can barely wait for the results to be out.

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