Our Predictions For The Post-Corona Life

March 23, 2020

It’s official. Going forward, life is going to be divided into pre-corona and post-corona times.

The world has never experienced and hopefully will never experience anything quite like this virus, which has so far affected around 351 000 people. Which is why we’re feeling more than a little appreciative and kind of nostalgic of all the things we took for granted before the coronavirus came and quite literally infected our world.

That said, the coronavirus will switch up earth’s game once it’s done. This is how we imagine regular Nigerian scenes will play out when the virus ends:

Praying in church/mosque

Your face when people start doing the most during service.

Post-Corona, everyone is going to be hyper-aware of just how much spit Bro Joseph releases when he speaks in tongues during Sunday Service. You’ll become hyper-aware of how close people sit during Jumahh. Nothing Was The Same abi how did Drake say it?

Working from the office.

Post-corona, sick-leaves and remote days will be plenty like water. You won’t even need to apply. Just make sure you cough in front of your supervisor and you’ll get an email asking you to work from home within the minute.

Should we thank corona?

Going Clubbing.

Your default stance when anybody that doesn’t show you their corona test- kit results attempts to dance with you.

No longer will random grinds be a thing. And don’t even think of whispering in anybody’s ears at 57. We’re here for a good time and a long time.

Schools.

what is social distancing?

Forget ‘Names of Noise Makers’, there will now be lists of people who sneezed or coughed without doing so in their elbows. Zikoko’s crystal ball strikes again.

Owambes

coronavirus in nigeria

Event decorators are going to be booked and busy post-corona. Who else is going to set-up the arrangements where no more than two people can be seated on a table? Socialdistancing4lyf!

Entering danfos.

coronavirus in Nigeria

Hm. This one can’t change oh. Only God can help us here.

What do you think will change once the coronavirus is contained?

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