Innovative Ways to Keep Cool During This Heat Wave

March 2, 2020

It has finally happened. The devil has seen how much Nigerians have been downloading with office wi-fi and just what they’re downloading (rhymes with corn) and has decided to give us a little testing-testing of hell.

But will we let him win? Not today?

Gombe State 100 computers

We’re not too sure how these will hold up, but if you’re looking for ways to stay cool outside the mainstream fans and air conditioning (lame), we have 7 tricks up our sleeves.

Do the Nigerian thing and proclaim that you are not hot but cold.

Hey, we do this for every other thing.

Hug a Nigerian politician right before bed.

Their icy hearts should keep you cool for a night or two.

Literally catch the Coronavirus because at least a fever will keep you cool.

Or not, please don’t.

Stand next to Nigeria’s foreign reserves.

Let the breeze from the emptiness keep you a little cool.

Move houses into any empty government building abandoned when a new administration came into power. The breeze do usually mad there.

Now choose wisely because there are a ton of those around.

You could always hug a transformer and let its metal keep you cool.

There’s no light anyway, so no need to worry about any dangers.

Has there ever been a perfect time to become a 24-hour nudist?

P.S., whatever happens between you and HR after this, we don’t want to know.

What are you doing to stay cool during this heat wave?

Boyin Plumptre

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