FG’s Unstoppable Force Meets ASUU’s Immovable Object

September 26, 2022

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If the ongoing ASUU strike is a scripted show, this week is the point where all the three armies clash on the open battlefield to settle scores.

Huffing and puffing on one end is ASUU, the titular star of the show fighting for affection. Staring at it with contempt on the other end is the Federal Government, the toxic boss spending its employees’ pension on G-Wagon.

If you take time to look into the distance, you will find Nigerian students groaning in pain as the two armies flex their muscles at each other. 

What happens when all three meet in the open field?

ASUU Strike

Students set the pace for this week’s chaos when the National Association of Nigerian Students (NANS) mobilised members to block the Lagos-Ibadan expressway last week. 
On Monday, September 19, they stepped it up when they blocked the Lagos International Airport Road and threatened to move the action to the Third Mainland Bridge. The underdogs of the story also promised not to allow political campaigns run smoothly in the country. Their simple demand was for the two agbayas to kiss and make up immediately so they can return to class.

ASUU Strike

The government didn’t like the disruptions the students caused so it turned its attention to ASUU. While it was having an unsuccessful civil dialogue with ASUU, it was also exploring a nuclear option to get the union back to work — the National Industrial Court (NIC).

The court commenced hearing on Monday after the government filed a case against ASUU to challenge the strike. The government’s main request to the court is to determine if the ASUU strike is legal and if striking lecturers are entitled to salaries while on strike.

ASUU Strike

On Wednesday, September 21, the industrial court ordered ASUU back to work while the key arguments are resolved. The government, students and their parents are happy with the decision, but ASUU is appealing the judgement.

So we’re asking:  What’s the worst possible thing that can happen when you force unhappy workers back to work for a toxic boss?

What Else Happened This Week?

It’s Not The Best Time To Be A Ponmo Lover

Ponmo isn’t the fanciest of the beef class — it doesn’t make the noisemakers’ list but sits quietly without disturbing anyone. It’s even probably nice enough to piss on you if you were on fire. But this week, the Federal Government came for ponmo.

The director-general of the Nigerian Institute of Leather and Science Technology (NILEST), Muhammad Yakubu, is on a crusade to retire ponmo as a culinary option for Nigerians. 

As far as we know, ponmo isn’t responsible for why no one’s ever heard of NILEST, but stopping Nigerians from eating the cow skin meat would apparently boost leather production in Nigeria.

To sell his pitch, Yakubu slandered ponmo with the argument that it holds no nutritional value. His proposal may sound like a joke, but he’s already lobbying members of the National Assembly to help him ban ponmo from the dinner table. All for the sake of leather.

It’s certainly a tricky situation for ponmo because this is apparently not just a clout-chasing cry for attention by NILEST. 

If this goes to the National Assembly, Nigeria has to decide between ponmo or a thriving leather industry. If you’re a ponmo lover, this is the time to defend its honour.

Have You Seen This Video?

Question of the Week

What’s your favourite Buhari nickname?

Click here to tweet your answer to @ZikokoCitizen on Twitter.

Ehen, one more thing…

Senator Ike Ekweremadu has only been sitting in a UK prison for three months and there’s a lawyer in court back home begging to replace him in the Senate.

It’s true what they say about the mice hosting a feast in the kitchen when the cat’s on vacation, huh?

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