Everything In Nigeria Will Kill You, Including FG’s New Self Certification Form

September 17, 2020

Citizen is a column that explains how the government’s policies fucks citizens and how we can unfuck ourselves.


This is the broken news:

Too tired and can’t read?

Your government says you have to physically go to banks to obtain, complete and submit a “Self Certification Form”. The form is to certify your identity, in line with the Income Tax Regulation of 2019. And even if you have an account in five banks, you have to go to all of them to fill this form, one by one.

The form is in three categories: Form for Entity, Form for Controlling Person and Form for Individual. If you fail to do this, you may be fined or even have your bank accounts suspended.

Dear FG, Are we a joke to you?

I wasn’t good at maths, but as at last count, we have had at least four valid means of identification in this country.

There is the National ID Card, Drivers’ Licence and the Voters’ Card. There is even the Bank Verification Number, which centralises all of the accounts a person has with an eleven-digit number. Why can’t the Federal Government harness all of this data, centralise it in a database and use it for whatever biometric plans it has?

What is this stick and stone approach in 2020?

Join The Conversation

Bring a friend.

You'll like this

July 30, 2021

The subject of today’s Abroad life is a 35-year-old man who has lived many lives. He talks about being rejected three times by the US embassy, the bad state of the Nigerian education system, and how freelancing paid for his japa.  When did you decide that you wanted to leave Nigeria? I’d always passively wanted […]

September 21, 2020

Ozo and Oshiomole were both sent packing this weekend. Who would have thought? Moral: Try no dey too clingy, show dey end. Meanwhile, we look at some lessons from both BBNaija and Edo voting centres. 1. Nigerians massively voted for the BBNaija candidates but were less enthusiastic about the Edo Governorship elections. Checking records from […]

June 28, 2021

How to register for PVC online- The Independent National Electoral Commission (INEC) has launched the process for eligible Nigerian voters to register to vote in the 2023 general elections by opening an online portal for registration for Permanent Voters Card. Who needs this article? Nigerians above 18 who are eligible to vote, and have not […]

Watch

Now on Zikoko

Recommended Quizzes

April 3, 2020

While the rest of the world loves to treat our continent like a country, there are actually 54 African countries. So, in a bid to test your knowledge (and educate you), we’ve created a quiz to see how many of their capitals you can correctly name. Go ahead:

October 30, 2019

2010 was a game-changing one for Nollywood, with our movies making serious cash and getting international acclaim. So, which of these hits released between 2010 and 2019 — from the pace-setting The Wedding Party to the divisive Trip To Jamaica — best suits your personality? Well, that’s what this quiz is here to answer:

November 28, 2019

There are so many talented and stunning Nollywood actors that make it hard not to fall in love with them. So, while we all know the likelihood of us ending up with any of them is super low, it’s still fun to imagine a world where we actually stood a chance, and that’s why this […]

November 30, 2019

With No Nut November FINALLY coming to an end, we’ve decided to mark the torturous month with some more horny content. After quizzes that guessed how many people you’ve slept with, how good you are in bed and who you’ll sleep with next, this one will guess when next you’ll get lucky. Take it to […]

More from Citizen

February 3, 2023

This week’s Abroad Life subject is Nigerian diaspora Twitter influencer, Oluomo of Derby, who is the founder of NIUKCommunity, a diasporan community with over 9,500 members. He tells us about his ‘japa’ journey, his inspiration to build a Nigerian “home away from home” and how he’s enlightening his community on the 2023 elections.

Watch

Trending Videos

Zikoko Originals

September 13, 2022
Vs The World is a Zikoko original video series that follows best friends Astor and Hassan as they take on the world.
August 23, 2022
Zikoko Ships is a Zikoko Original series where we invite two people who share a relationship to play the Zikoko card games
December 14, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
November 2, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
October 26, 2020
A collection of videos documenting some of the events of the EndSARS protests.
June 22, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
June 22, 2020
Hacked is an interesting new series by Zikoko made up of fictional but hilarious chat conversations.
June 4, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
June 2, 2020
Quickie is a video series where everyone featured gets only one minute to rant, review or do absolutely anything.
May 14, 2020
Isolation Diary is a Zikoko series that showcases what isolation is like for one young Nigerian working from home due to the Coronavirus pandemic.

Z! Stacks

Here's a rabbit hole of stories to lose yourself in:

Zikoko amplifies African youth culture by curating and creating smart and joyful content for young Africans and the world.
X