If we were measuring good and bad on a scale of 1 – 10, many Nigerians politicians would rank around -20 and so would you, reader — no matter how much you want to deny it.

Now before you start weaving and doing odeshi, if you’ve done more than 5 of the things on this list, please just go and buy your nomination form for Local Government chairman because the work will fit you die.

Stolen extra meat from the pot.

Na from clap dance dey start. Meat today, Abacha’s rival tomorrow.

Used tithe and offering money to flex with zobo and Gala on Sundays.

How to mix cream

That’s how they graduate to the big leagues.

Are you one of those greedy people that form three lanes on a two-lane road?


If you regularly switch football teams depending on who’s leading. Again we ask:

What’ll it be?

If you’ve taken money that doesn’t belong to you to flex on Instagram, I don’t know how to break it to you but-

You’re a Nigerian politician.

If during faculty president campaigns, you promised Wizkid would come for the final year party and Beyonce would do back-up vocals.

You know what you are.

If during five-a-side, you pick your friend’s first before picking the best men for the team-

That’s how star politicians do.

Food prefects that used to steal extra moin-moin for themselves and their friends, leaving students to eat rice and tears.

I hope you win the primaries.

How many of you are starting your campaign trail next year?


Zikoko amplifies African youth culture by curating and creating smart and joyful content for young Africans and the world.