As a Nigerian, your favourite street food says a lot about you. Every recruiter should ask for your favourite street food in their hiring process because someone that likes kuli-kuli will be difficult to work with, for example. Why would you like to suffer on purpose?
If Suya is your favourite street food, you’re a generous person because that’s the only reason why you’ll like something that no one lets you enjoy in peace. Everyone always wants a bite.
You’re a strong head. Also, wicked. How can you just casually like chewing something as hard as human bone, with a straight face? Your future ambition as a child was to become a civil servant — the kind that makes you wait at the reception for the whole day, only to tell you to come back in a week.
There’s no reason why beans should be fried, but if it’s your cup of tea, I guess. Unlike the Suya lovers, they share out of the kindness of their hearts and not because they’re forced to. Akara lovers are kind people that aren’t kind to themselves and that’s okay.
4. Bole and groundnut
The only way to eat plantain is soft. Bole is never really soft. Let’s also talk about how people who like it either have a choking kink or are one impulsive thought away from hanging onto the back of a danfo for fun. Please, try to choose life.
5. Boiled corn and pear
If you like boiled corn and pear, your tastebuds sabi. Corn was not created to be burnt. People who boil corn have a heightened palate. They also like avocados and think they’re better than everyone. They’re not wrong.
You get easily peer pressured. I get it, puff-puff is tasty and as a Nigerian, life can be pretty tough. It’s easy to choose the sweetest option, but at what cost? Half bottle of oil in your mouth with each bite? Come on.
There’s something very scary about a person who risks their life eating a meal that may harm them if not cooked properly. People that like Abacha live life dangerously and I have to stan.
8. Ewa agoyin
Not the one you buy in a restaurant for ₦10k; the one those Togolese women hawk in small iron pots for ₦50 per scoop. If you like ewa agoyin, you’re definitely a minister of enjoyment and your life’s motto is “here for a good time”. Please, show us the way.