Like the millions of people across the world who work 9 to 5s, I hate Mondays. Always have, always will. At least until I’m a billionaire and don’t have to wake up at 8 am and slug it out with the masses.
Because I’m a firm believer in living my very best life, I’m always coming up with imaginative ways to make Mondays, well a little less suckish. Like calling in sick every other Monday or getting half of my deliverables done the night before if I’m sober enough and home before 8 pm. My new favourite thing, however, is working with a reward system. I set a list of goals I want to accomplish during the week and by the weekend I reward myself with something from my ‘treat yo self’ list. If I don’t meet my target I still console myself with something of my list. It’s always a win-win situation.
Here’s a couple of things off my ‘treat yo self’ list that I think you deserve to indulge in this week. Because you are doing amazing sweetie and you deserve to spoil yourself too; rent and electricity bills be damned.
The best Margherita in town
I think I’ve made enough noise about them for anyone who knows anything about me to know that Pizza-Riah is my favourite pizza place in Lagos. But since I tried the Margherita at Lagoon restaurant I’ve been torn. A friend put me on to it a couple of weeks ago. And it took me two bites to decide that he was right, they make these best Margherita in Lagos. I went back this weekend for it and also tried their ‘Lagoon Special’. I didn’t love the ‘Lagoon Special’ so pizzeria continues to hold its place in my heart. However, Lagoon does, without doubt, make the best Margherita in Lagos.
Fruit cake the best cake, especially from Cakes and Cream
I’ve been living two minutes away from a Cakes and Cream outlet for almost two years and I only discovered they make the best fruit cake in Lagos a couple of months ago. They’ve been the number one culprit for my rapidly expanding waistline, but every bite is worth it. They also make a pretty decent cheesecake. Talking about cheesecakes, I have to give Pizza-Riah an honorary mention here because they make a more than decent one. At this point, I should make a proud mum type of bumper sticker with their name on it.
A 300 naira burger
I don’t think it’s possible for me to hate anything that comes out of Tastee Fried Chicken (TFC). Including their Buristo which shouldn’t be mistaken for an actual Burrito. I’m just now realising that what I thought was a typo in their menu might just be intentional, to let you know you aren’t getting an actual Burrito. Anyway, I’m here to talk about their burger which is the best burger you could get anywhere in the country for 300 naira. It’s made up of a small patty, a fresh bun some tomato and lettuce but for some reason, it bangs as hard as anything Burna Boy puts out.
You deserve all the finer things of life, including breakfast smoothies, because your summer body needs some assistance to finish loading. Three weeks ago I switched out my regular breakfast for fruit smoothies and although I’m hungry all the time before lunch, I can say it’s definitely worth it and you should try it too. I’m trying to do this for a month and I’m about three weeks in, so I’ll share a little progress report by next week.
Pizza from The House Cafe
I like food way too much to ever have a favourite kind. Do you know how many options there are in this world? But pizzas are definitely some of my most favourite food. The pizza from House Cafe hits all of the right spots. Perfect crust, the right amount of tomato sauce, cheesy enough to make my lactose intolerant self almost regret having it when I’m stuck in the toilet for hours the next day. Giving that I live and work in Surulere and House Cafe is all the way in Lekki, I think it says a lot about the pizza there that I’m ready to journey all the way to get it.
A pedicure from Nail Boutique
I got a pedicure from Nail Boutique months ago and I have been to a bunch of other places since then because they are located all the way in Lekki. And each time I get a pedicure in a new place I regret not just making the trip down to get it done there. I don’t know what sort of sorcery they worked on me. But my heels were baby soft for weeks after I got it and my feet looked like they had somehow managed to take a layer off my sunburn. 10 over 10, will recommend.
Urban Fuxion ribs
I knew that Urban Fuxion had me in their clutches when I was on my way home at 3 am from 355 and turned back on Akin Adesola to chase down their food truck because I wanted their ribs. It’s a little disappointing they no longer make their curly fries but they’ll also have a place in my stomach and that’s saying a lot.
My signature pottage recipe no matter what the haters say
In last week’s episode of #VRSUS which was nothing but a smear campaign against my fine name and elite culinary skills @boyin_ and @yesmina_t tried to trash my signature pottage recipe. I’m here to do damage control and declare that my recipe is elite and definitely one of the best things you deserve this week. Unfortunately I’m a sore loser and I’m still licking my wounds so I won’t be whipping up a pot anytime soon. But you can watch the full video here.
What you most definitely don’t deserve though is this milkshake (?) from The Metaphor.
I didn’t think this needed to be said but here’s what a milkshake is made up of – actual strawberries, even if it’s just one; ice cream but I’d have even settled for yoghurt; sugar; and milk. It’s not however made up of 90% strawberry syrup and 10% ice. The waitresses retort of ‘That’s just how we make it here’ to my complaint is also one of the reasons I haven’t been back to Metaphor since.