5 Things Nigerian Churches Give To First-Timers

March 15, 2020

One benefit of being a first-timer in a Nigerian church is that they give you a package when service ends. The quality of the package depends on the type of church, sha. But if you’re lucky, you can get your next meal just by attending a Nigerian church as a first-timer.

1. Spaghetti and tomato paste.

Image result for golden penny spaghetti

They’ll wrap it in a nylon and give it to you with a smile. If it’s a campus fellowship, you’ll collect it with joy. Because you know how student life can be and this relief food will go a long way.

1b. Tomato paste.

Image result for sonia tomato paste

This is usually given with spaghetti. They can’t give you paste alone, but you certainly can get only spaghetti.

2. Soft drinks.

Image result for bottled soft drinks nigeria pepsi and fanta

After you have submitted the first-timer’s form, they will smile and say “Please help us manage this small gift, eh. God bless you. We hope to see you next Sunday.” And you too will collect it after acting like you’re surprised by the ‘package.’

3. Jotter and order of service.

Image result for printed jotter for nigerian church

What other way to remind you to attend their church but a jotter bearing the name of the church? Each time you use the jotter, you remember how you promised them that you will come back. And so you will have no choice but to go back.

4. Packaged chin-chin that looks like this:

Image result for packaged chinchin in plastic plates

Or this:

Image result for packaged chinchin in plastic plates

Usually produced by one of the devoted sisters in the church, so it’s almost like a small advertisement too. Almost like, come to our church, we have devoted sisters. Most times, the chin chin is always sweet.

5. Cake slices or jam doughnuts.

Image result for cake slices

This is for rich churches, so don’t enter every church expecting to get cake. You’ll just be surprised when they offer you pure water and blessings. Even me, in my waka, I’ve only eaten cake slices from one church in…I’ll not mention the name.

Have you read this? 5 Things You’ll Relate To If You’re A First-Timer In Church

You'll like this

February 23, 2020

Amala is forever going to be regarded as a food that is not for the common man. It’s okay if people slander amala. Not everyone has good taste and you can’t blame them for it. 1. When you get to a party and there’s no amala. Ah, what kind of incomplete party is this? 2. […]

February 4, 2020

Food is life, we agree. But do you know that while you’ve been playing it safe with food, some people are out there engaging in culinary BDSM? We know you don’t, and that’s why we brought you this to help you move your meal time from basic to advanced. Below is a list of weird […]

Kunle Ologunro

Join The Conversation

Bring a friend.

Watch

Now on Zikoko

August 11, 2020

You’re Nigerian. Cheating is in your blood. You might try to fight it but eventually, your true nature will prevail. To make it easier for you, we are offering you this nice guide to help you manage your diverse portfolio of partners. Shh. Don’t let your partner know. 1. Call all of them “Babe, Honey” […]

August 11, 2020

Are you tired of your basic 9-5 and thinking of a career change? Well, here is how to be a prostitute in Nigeria 1) Wear an Anklet This singular piece of jewelry has basically cemented your place as a certified prostitute 2) Drive a car Obviously the only reason you are driving a car is […]

August 11, 2020

Remember the Nigerian boy who was seen doing ballet pirouettes barefoot and in the rain, in that viral video? Well, he’s been offered a scholarship by the prestigious American Ballet Theater. With the help of American actresses Viola Davis and Cynthia Erivo, the video garnered 15 million views, ultimately leading to Anthony Madu being offered […]

Recommended Quizzes

November 1, 2019

Twitter is buzzing right now, bringing a new conversation to the concept of cool vs not-so-cool, especially in relationships. If you’ve been thinking about how much of a red flag you are, why don’t you let this quiz help you decide once and for all?

October 29, 2019

We are going to be attempting to guess when you’ll marry based on your favourite Nigerian foods. What does your fave swallow have to do with when you’ll tie the knot? Please, don’t ask complicated questions. This quiz is rigorous and accurate (don’t quote us), so just take it already.

More from Chopist

July 28, 2020

If the Nigerian you’re interested in dating does up to 7 of the things on this list, bounce them. If you’re already dating them, then you need to immediately block them everywhere, change your identity and leave the country. 1. They turn old stew into jollof rice. These ones never let things go. You’ll be […]

July 16, 2020

In my humble stint as a kitchen rat, these are some of the most frustrating struggles that I have experienced: 1) Oil splash. I don’t fry anything for this reason. I can’t be playing hide and seek in my kitchen because of hot oil. My worst fear is that oil will enter my eye and […]

Watch

Trending Videos

Zikoko Originals

June 22, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
June 22, 2020
Hacked is an interesting new series by Zikoko made up of fictional but hilarious chat conversations.
June 4, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
June 2, 2020
Quickie is a video series where everyone featured gets only one minute to rant, review or do absolutely anything.
May 14, 2020
Isolation Diary is a Zikoko series that showcases what isolation is like for one young Nigerian working from home due to the Coronavirus pandemic.
March 12, 2020
Life is already hard. Deciding where to eat and get the best lifestyle experiences, isn't something you should stress about. Let VRSUS do that for you.
February 6, 2020
Who doesn't want to find love? In our bid to help, we paired up a bunch of single Nigerians, sending them on an all-expense paid date, and interviewing them before and after they met.
January 27, 2020
Nigerians Talk is what happened when a motley crew of young Nigerians were put in front of a camera and asked a bunch of apparently random questions about life, love, money and more.
September 24, 2019
A group of Zikoko staff go on a road trip to every mainland country in ECOWAS West Africa

Z! Stacks

Here's a rabbit hole of stories to lose yourself in:

Zikoko amplifies African youth culture by curating and creating smart and joyful content for young Africans and the world.
X