Everything To Expect As You Go Back To School

February 20, 2019

On February 8th,2019 the Academic Staff Union of Universities announced their decision to suspend their strike after reaching an agreement with the Federal government. Students across the country came to a solemn realisation – school was going to resume soon. On the plus side, the final year brethren get to graduate this year. On the other hand, the battle with our archaic educational system for a degree continues.

Hope you’ve enjoyed waking up by 11 AM and eating whenever you like because it’s back to crappy hostels, terrible power supply, hot weather, boring lectures, mandatory pseudo-fasting, and “this-school-is-a-scam” rants.

 

Nationwide, academic activities are set to resume and we thought it would be nice to remind you of a few things.

Get Ready To Lose All The Weight

You’ve been at home for more than 3 months so it’s only natural that you’ve put on some extra weight. If you haven’t, contact your village people immediately and beg. 

Things are about to change though, you’re all going back to your respective war camps and torture facilities. That means that some bald middle aged man with his notes from the 80s is about to bore and stress you till you can play do re mi with your rib cage. 

Do You Still Remember Your Matric Number?

If, like me, you gave up on school and forgot your matric number during the strike, please line up according to your height. We’re buying zobo to wash away our sorrows make we dey alright.

 

PS – Ask your class rep, he’s been signing your attendance for you so he knows.

Time To Become A Bread And Beans Warrior Again

If you’ve grown accustomed to Basmati rice and Chicken fillet with a glass of freshly squeezed orange juice to wash it down, I’m already crying for you. Brethren, forget the comfort you have known and return to your bread and agoyin ways as quickly as possible. 

Hope You’ve Been Happy For The Entire Year

Fun fact about most universities – as you walk (or drive if you’re now a big somebody) through the gates, you’re leaving your joy and happiness outside, you’ll pick it up when you exit the premises.

 

Las las, may the joy of the Lord be with you.

 

Join The Conversation

Bring a friend.

You'll like this

October 29, 2019

Every grown Nigerian knows about ASUU and their hard-earned reputation. No judgments here; everybody must be known for something. At this point, ASUU or the news of any of their strikes shouldn’t really be news, but because these things affect hundreds of thousands of students, we can’t get that wish. So what is it this […]

November 28, 2018

As students, we can hardly spare a second to think about politics because we’re so busy trying to breath life into our CGPA. Literally But still, we are very aware of the fact that every tenure, leaders breeze by without giving us what we need the most: development. I mean, look around you, we’re definitely […]

Watch

Now on Zikoko

November 25, 2022

Just three months to the start of the 2023 elections, the National Chairman of the All Progressives Congress (APC), Senator Abdullahi Adamu, started a beef with the Independent National Electoral Commission (INEC). It wasn’t about electoral violence or vote buying but rather a new feature of the 2023 elections. The APC national chairman believes Nigeria […]

Recommended Quizzes

October 30, 2019

Kemi Adetiba’s King of Boys movie got a lot of things right, especially casting, so yes, it was a monster hit. Now, we know you may not have put much thought to this, but the personalities of some of the characters closely match yours, and we would like to help you find the perfect match. […]

November 4, 2019

After successfully predicting when y’all are getting married (please, email any complaints to noneofourbusiness@nayousabi.com), we are back to tell you how much is currently in your account. How, you might ask? By using your taste in Nollywood, of course. Shhh. No questions. Just take it already:

November 27, 2019

Do you have a face that could make angels jealous, or should you really be walking around with a nylon bag over your head so you don’t scare children? Well, this quiz is here to answer that by telling you exactly how good-looking you are. Take and find out: 11 Quizzes For People Who Aren’t […]

November 28, 2019

There are so many talented and stunning Nollywood actors that make it hard not to fall in love with them. So, while we all know the likelihood of us ending up with any of them is super low, it’s still fun to imagine a world where we actually stood a chance, and that’s why this […]

More from Campus

November 16, 2022

If your roommates hate you, you’re in deep shit. Which is why as the sweethearts we are, we’ve decided to tell you how to make sure this never happens to you. Lay their beds Sometimes, your roommates are late for lectures, or just too tired to lay their beds. Being the nice person you are, […]

August 20, 2021

Sitting for any exam can be tedious, how much more, almighty JAMB. And checking your result? That can be a nerve-wracking process, but you have to go through with it because how else are you going to get into university? Better to do so as soon as possible so you can put your mind at […]

March 31, 2021

Growing up, a lot of us are taught that there is an exact way we are supposed to progress. We go from primary school to secondary school to university, get a job and then marry. It’s linear and exact. However, real-life isn’t that simple. A good number of people opt out of this race at […]

Watch

Trending Videos

Zikoko Originals

September 13, 2022
Vs The World is a Zikoko original video series that follows best friends Astor and Hassan as they take on the world.
August 23, 2022
Zikoko Ships is a Zikoko Original series where we invite two people who share a relationship to play the Zikoko card games
December 14, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
November 2, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
October 26, 2020
A collection of videos documenting some of the events of the EndSARS protests.
June 22, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
June 22, 2020
Hacked is an interesting new series by Zikoko made up of fictional but hilarious chat conversations.
June 4, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
June 2, 2020
Quickie is a video series where everyone featured gets only one minute to rant, review or do absolutely anything.
May 14, 2020
Isolation Diary is a Zikoko series that showcases what isolation is like for one young Nigerian working from home due to the Coronavirus pandemic.

Z! Stacks

Here's a rabbit hole of stories to lose yourself in:

Zikoko amplifies African youth culture by curating and creating smart and joyful content for young Africans and the world.
X