1) Everyone spends a shit ton of money preparing to slay with their outfit.

Because dinner and award nights are the MET Gala of universities, and you don’t want to caught slipping.

2) Squads get together to decide on if to buy a table or pay solo entrance fees.

“That table thing is cool but e expensive gan oh.”

3) The organisers hand out ballot papers so people in the department/faculty can vote for the different award categories.

“Victoria for qualify but she no get nyash like that.”

4) Then the organizers meet with the nominees secretly and inform them that the award belongs to the highest bidder.

“We know you deserve it. We just want you to use your wallet to prove to us how much you want it.”

5) This is how people buy drinks in advance so that their tables will be full that night.

The key is to buy plenty cheap drinks so even though your table is full, all the drinks combined would be like N4530.

6) This is how squads link up before the dinner to take pictures on the struggle red carpet.

“This money I spent on this outfit can’t waste.”

7) Whenever someone wins an award:

Say bye bye to your outfit.

8) When the “special” artist comes out to perform:

“Let’s just cheer so he won’t feel bad.”

9) When the main show ends and the afterparty begins:

“To the windows, to the walls! TILL THE SWEAT DRIPS DOWN MY BALLS!!”

RECOMMENDED: 15 Struggles Only People Who Had An Extra Year In University Will Understand


Zikoko amplifies African youth culture by curating and creating smart and joyful content for young Africans and the world.