That Time I Disgraced Myself At A Fashion Boutique

So a few days after I got paid I was feeling like a boss.

Beyonce feeling cool

Biggest babe!

And I decided that I was going to treat myself to a shopping spree.


Because I’ve got money!

So I walked into a store that I had admired from afar with confidence and pride.


Swaggiest baby girl in the nation!

I looked at the prices of one or two things and realised that I could really go on a spree.

excited yass


So I picked up about 12 items and then went to the dressing room to do my own personal fashion show.

Stellar fashion sense

I was looking too fabulous.

Because I’m such a hottie almost all the clothes fit me really well.

kenya smile

I mean what did you expect.

When I came out I caught 2 of the sales girl giving me a side eye.

for what kanye

Ahn ahn?

I started to get the vibe that they felt their shop was too good for me.

wow surprised what

Ok. Very what? Very good

I knew I was going to show them.


Because shame to bad people!

So I carried my items with me and cat-walked again to the till.

cat walk

Because I’m that chick!

The sales girl started checking out the clothes and that’s where my problem started.

joseline hernandez sad thinking


All of a sudden I started seeing big big numbers on the till.

how they plot to steal your husband


Apparently the first outfit I had picked was from the 70% off sales rack.



As I figured this out the number on the till was still rising.


Oh my God!

So I started forming like there were things I didn’t notice about the clothes.


Yes oh!

First I said I wanted to know if they had one dress in a different colour.


“Maybe aquamarine fondant yellow or burnt iced red.”

Then I said one suit had an odd fit.

stress frown

“The trousers are a bit too snug around my hips.”

Then I said one skirt was too short.


“I just don’t want to be indecent.”

Meanwhile the other sales girls were looking at me like:


What a shame!

I ignored them and continued my nonsense till I had reduced my items to two..

nod black man


And the only reason I didn’t go down to one was so I wouldn’t be such a blatant cheapskate.

Kingsley-shrug (1)

Before those sales girls start laughing at me.

So I happily handed over my card only for it to be declined!

phaedra-god-why-cant deal

Hay God!

They tried again, and the same thing happened.


Why me?

I just had to mumble excuses and run out of there with whatever shame I had left.


Very fast!

And till date I have not been able to go back into that store!


Because once bitten, twice shy.