All The Drama-filled Times That Cookie Lyon Was A Nigerian Mother


Since debuting in January, Empire has gained a cult following. People love it (^ _^) and some people love to hate it (>_>).

Empire featured a lot of cliche soap-opera moments, really great music, and lots of drama. But what or who most of us here are obsessed with is the show’s realest character — Cookie Lyon (Taraji P. Henson).

She is the definition of no-nonsense. She many times, uncomfortably reminds me of a Nigerian mother.

So here’s a list of the times that Cookie exhibited chronic Nigerian mother characteristics:

1. When She Beat Up Hakeem With A Broom

Have you ever tried to reply your mother in an argument? It doesn’t matter whether the reply was only slightly rude or even borderline polite. Shut your mouth. If you don’t, you get a broom – or a shoe, or a stick, or an eba stick; anything handy really – on the back like Cookie gave to her rude-ass last born, Hakeem.  It was truly hilarious.

Hakeem: What? You want a medal, bitch?

Cookie: What *hits* I *hits* want *hits* is *hits* some *hits* respect!

Serious Black mother beatdown.

2. When She Bitch Slapped Boo Boo Kitty (aka Anika)

Have you ever murmured behind your mother’s back? What was the result?

“Tell me why I shouldn’t throw this drink in your bitch-ass face?” Cookie asks, to which Anika responds, “Because you’ll never get up off the floor, bitch.” What followed was a drink-toss, a punch, and a bitch-slap. In quick succession.

This is what happened when you murmured behind your mom’s back. Yes or nah?

3. When She Gave Sarcastic a Answer to a Simple Question

Has your mom ever answered “It’s on my head” to a simple question like “Where is the knife?”? If she has then you can totally relate to Cookie’s answer when someone asked her where the bathroom was.

4. When She Subbed A Family Member During Grace

One day when I skipped church, at Sunday breakfast, my mom prayed for God to “forgive those who ate his food and didn’t worship him”. I swear I couldn’t eat.

I imagine that’s how Anika felt when Cookie prayed at her to God before food.

 

5. She Really Holds Grudges

No Nigerian is a stranger to their mom digging out their sins from before they were born. Even though our mothers are good Christians. So when Cookie told Anika:

I weirdly remembered all the “Remember whens” my mom threw at me.

6. When She Proved That She Can Give Excellent Nicknames

Asides your name, what does your mom call you? Moms find a way to give us these gross, derogatory nicknames that they think are endearing. They are really not.

Speaking of nicknames, Cookie is really good at coming up with creative ones. Nigerian mother good. Featuring:

Anika as Boo Boo Kitty/Fake Lena Horne/Fake Halle Berry/Felicia

Jamal’s Boyfriend as La Cucaracha

Naomi Campbell as Yoko

 

7. When She Disapproved Of Her Sons’ Spouses

…for various reasons. Maybe they were legit, maybe they were not. But the disapproval is strong. Remember when your mom said she didn’t like your girlfriend because she was too dark, or too tall, or too old?

Yes, Andre and Hakeem too.

For Hakeem, She disapproved of age.

 

For Andre, She was just racist.

8. When She Gave Up Everything For Her Family

This woman was sentenced to 30 years in prison because she wanted her kids a better life. Does this not remind you of all the sacrifices your mom has made; the lengths that she would go to to protect you people? I know I do. Cookie is like all our mothers in that respect.

9. When She Clearly Shows She Has A Favorite Kid

Are you her number one? Your mom, I mean. I know that she says she loves you all equally but you know in your heart that she has a favorite…and it’s probably not you.

Like Hakeem and Andre probably know. When she was off to jail, she had a special message for Jamal.

And when she came back from jail, she went to see him first. She stayed in his house.

And she clearly preferred his music. She chose to manage his career.

She went out with him. Something she didn’t seem to do a lot with his brothers.

10. When She Downplays Her Child’s Problem

Have you ever complained to your mom about a problem; and she gives you this look that says “but, did you die?” Of course you have, you’re a Nigerian child. Your problems aren’t real problems.

Cookie has the same attitude to Jamal’s writer’s block because simply put, Writer’s block is simply unacceptable for her.

Cookie is the glue that holds Empire together – like our mothers hold the family. The consummate black women. Which other Cookie characteristics remind you of your mother? Tell us in the comments.