According To Recent Studies, Nigerians Are Most Likely To Meet Their Future Spouses At One Of These 7 Places

1. At a wedding

Everyone knows that weddings are chock-full of single (and some disgusting married) people looking to mingle and spread their seed into the world so storm literally any wedding you see going on and get yours today!

2. On Twitter

Let's be honest, Twitter is the new Tinder. People are sliding in and out of DMs faster than millennials slide in and out of depression. What this means is that the time has finally come to shoot your shot with that fine girl/boy whose avi (profile pic) you mistakenly masturbated to that one time. Send nudes if you have to. BE BRAVE!!!

3. At a drug-fueled orgy

If you're really serious about finding true love then you have to be willing to wade through the rough to find the diamond. Except that in this case, the rough is the hot bed of STDs that is orgies and the diamond is your now possibly STD laden, cocaine addicted future spouse.

Also, were you really expecting a picture of a drug-fueled orgy? Loooooool. Get out of here you weirdo!

4. Midnight Witch Meetings

As y'all are dancing around a giant pot containing the boiling remains of your latest victim, you look across the fire and spot a fine boy/girl you're sure wasn't there at last week's meeting because there is no way you would've missed such hotness. You dance your way over and introduce yourself and start a conversation and just like that you're well on your way to Bone Town and maybe even Marriage Ville.

5. Allen Junction at 11pm

I feel like as long as you NEVER ask each other what you both were looking for at Allen at 11pm on a Saturday night, everything will be fine.

6. At Church

Sure, the person might be there looking for deliverance from a fuck ton of evil spirits but who cares? You'll get to tell people that you landed yourself a God-fearing boy/girl while hoping deep down that your partner's stubborn spiritual husband/wife doesn't murder you on your wedding night.

Also, what exactly is going in that picture? Why/how is that guy on his head?? Shit looks like a very lit 90's dance party.

7. At an STD clinic (when the pain of your penis/vagina burning when you pee becomes unbearable).

Because why the hell not?

If you haven't realized this by now, this wasn't based on any study. If you're angry:

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