A Short (Horror) Story Of A Sperm's Journey To Conquer The Unknown Land Of The Uterus

When John Doe meets Jane Doe and they find that they have

The mating dance will consist of frequent messaging...

Late night phone calls...

Romantic dinners...

And ultimately, "Netflix and chill"

During the "chill" part, John Doe will be so consumed by the sweet sweet lovemaking and proceed to release his soldiers into Jane Doe

And this is where the real work begins...

As John Doe's soldiers make their way inside Jane Doe in an attempt to conquer new land, they have high hopes for victory

Alas! Their pride will end up being their downfall because unknowingly to them, Jane Doe's armies have laid an ambush

Before the unsuspecting soldiers of John Doe's Kingdom know what is happening, they are attacked and their ranks are routed

Jane Doe's Amazonian warriors kick those little pesky invaders out like:

THIS IS SPARTA BIIIITCHES!!!!!!!

Sometimes (most times) all the invaders are destroyed and there is a party in the Uterine Kingdom

But other (few) times, there are some stragglers that manage to make it through the ambush to reach the Queen

Out of those ones, one will be victorious to conquer the uterus and proceed to make it its home for the next nine months

And now, for a visual representation of this story, please see the video below:

So the next time someone is making you feel like shit, just tell them, you were once a conqueror of the Uterine Kingdom