1. Some idiots will assume you don’t love your skin the way it is and that deep down you really wish you were light skinned.
You don’t even know me.
2. So they will suggest that you bleach your skin.
“Listen, you probably mean well but I don’t want to end up looking like a three day old corpse. So no, thanks.”
3. They will ignore everything you’re saying and start suggesting bleaching creams you can use.
“Have you tried FOREVER CLEAR? WHITENING LOTION nko? What of GOAT MILK WHITENER?”
4. When this happens, shout sense into their head.
“DID YOU NOT JUST HEAR ME?! I DON’T WANT TO LOOK LIKE BOBRISKY!!! GTFO!”
5. Then there are those terrible humans that will say that they don’t date dark skin people.
This makes no sense because like half of the people that say this are dark skinned themselves. All of them are mad.
6. If you’re very dark, one idiot will try to nickname you “Nightcrawler” or worse, “Nightwalker”.
If someone calls you “Nightwalker”, you have every right to punch him/her in the throat. They deserve it.
7. If you are very dark, a lot of people will automatically assume that you’re from the North.
Believe me when I tell you that Nigerian stereotypes are just plain stupid.
8. Someone will joke that if you have children with another dark skinned person, your kids will be “black like satan”.
“DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW OFFENSIVE THIS IS?!!”
9. This is you when you see a job vacancy and the employers specifically ask for only light skinned people.
ARE WE NOT HUMAN BEINGS??!! ARE YOU MAD??!!
10. Whenever harmattan comes, you absolutely have to rub Vaseline or else you’ll end up looking like this
You will look like a low budget Nollywood ghost.