If you’ve lived long enough in Nigeria, you should already know travelling by road isn’t exactly suya and sunshine.
But with air ticket prices the way they are, we’ll all need to embrace road trips soon. You can even pretend to connect with your adventure-loving self and plan a trip with your friends. Don’t go without knowing these tips, though.
Start your trip early
Whether you’re travelling interstate or within a state, leave early. Especially if you’re moving from Lagos. You don’t need me to tell you why.
Have money
Because what’s a road trip without buying orisirisi on the way? You’ll also run into the odd police checkpoint, and you may be asked to “show love”.
Eat ahead
Traffic, checkpoints, and the usual bad roads can increase your travel time. Because, Nigeria. Don’t let hunger kill you.
Don’t eat before your trip
Imagine entering into a crater-sized pothole with a stomach full of beans. It’s either you kill your travel mates with hydrogen sulphide — or kill yourself with embarrassment when you have to beg the driver to let you do a “number two” in the bush.
Buy pain relievers
Remember those pot-holes we mentioned? Better buy paracetamol.
Look poor
In case you still don’t know, Nigeria has an insecurity problem. Don’t go displaying your iPhone 14 Pro Max and giving unknown gunmen any ideas.
Google Maps is your friend
Don’t rely on interstate traffic markers if you intend to drive yourself. They’re so few and far between, and you might find yourself in Yobe if you aren’t careful.
Don’t pick up hitchhikers
Hitchhiking isn’t even in our culture, so if you like, go and pick ayamatanga on the road. Na you sabi.
Share your location with friends
Because it’s just common sense.
Take pictures
Because after all this wahala, it’s unlikely you’ll want to make another road trip anytime soon. You should keep memories of the beautiful landmarks you’ll encounter.
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