8 Reasons Why You Haven’t Really Had Sex Until You’ve Had Married Sex

1. You can be fully in the moment and not get distracted by anything.

With random sex, you will occasionally worry about stuff like “Does this person really like me? Do they think I’m terrible at sex? Will I ever hear from them again?” But then with your spouse, you will never have to worry about any of that.

2. You perfectly understand each other’s bodies.

You don’t have to wonder if the other person likes that thing you’re doing with your tongue and you don’t have to muffle your scream when the other person bites your nipple thinking its sexy. As a married couple, you know what your spouse likes and vice versa which means you can give each other mind blowing orgasms with very little instruction. Which is why…..

3. You can have sex really fast when you need to

Perfectly understanding each other’s bodies means that sex doesn’t always need to take one hour. So when you have a limited time to “get busy” (e.g when your baby is taking a nap or you have to get up really early the next morning) and there isn’t time to waste, you can just get right to it and be done in 5 minutes.

4. Sex can be awkward and still be hilarious

Imagine how awkward it’ll be if you’re having sex with someone you haven’t known long and you mistakenly fart. You’ll pray for the ground to open up and swallow you. You don’t have to worry about this with your spouse. You can fart, try a new position (and fail) or even have a quick snack and it’s all okay. Why? Because you love each other, that’s why.

5. You don’t have to worry about STDs (If you’re a monogamous married couple)

One of the worst parts of having sex outside of marriage is wondering if the other person is really just a walking talking bag of STDs. When you’re in a committed monogamous marriage, you don’t have to have to worry about this. Unless of course one of you is secretly cheating……

6. If you decide to try kink, it’ll work better.

Really naughty kinky sex requires communication, negotiation and trust which most marriages already have tons of. So y’all are less likely to end up in the emergency room than say…… 2 people who just got together for a one night stand and decided to act out the plot of 50 Shades Of Grey.

7. You don’t have to look perfect.

Listen now, this is not something you should do all the time. We’re not saying you should let yourself go just because you’re married. What we mean is that there are times when you both want to engage in coitus (lol) but don’t want to go through the stress of preparation (e.g leg shaving etc) and you can just “get on down” because you both love each other to pieces.

8. Initiating sex is no longer a problem

Because you’re both married. Instead of dropping hints and innuendos, initiating sex will become as easy as this,

 

Wife: “Hey. This show is ending in 10 minutes. Wanna have sex then?”

 

Husband: “Ok”.

 

The End

More Zikoko!

http://www.zikoko.com/list/15-of-the-most-hilariously-horrifying-things-to-say-to-your-partner-during-sex/

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